their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
