I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
