I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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