garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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