She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Someone came in the potted fern
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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