Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
