that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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