You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
