i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
