We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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