none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I looked at my own cervix.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
