Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
