Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
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