Umm I'm too high to move.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
