It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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