You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
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