I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
