I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
