Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Randomize
