He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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