haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
