I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
