Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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