And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
