i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize