I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
