i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Are we still banned from the library?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
