Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
