Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
