i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
