Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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