she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
