I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
