You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
