I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
