But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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