grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We are all done wearing pants today
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
