she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize