Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
