Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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