My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
