all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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