btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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