How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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