he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
