honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
