Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
