I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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