Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize