garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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