cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
