it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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