Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
