drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
