thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I lost the right to judge tonight
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
