haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
